The One About Stoicism, Letting Go and Not Holding Grudges

This message is inspired by the people I interact with on a daily basis, friends, family, and clients. I can see people not proceeding in life because of the bitterness they hold.

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of "Random Thoughts with Takura.” Today, I want to talk about something that’s been on my mind for a while. I believe it should be a law, or it should be enshrined in the Ten Commandments, or something like that. I genuinely think that everyone should have the ability to let things go. It just bothers me that people don't know why it’s so important not to hold onto anger or resentment. It’s a topic that I’ve been reflecting on recently, especially when I think about the number of people who ask me, "How can you let that happen?” Why aren’t you angry? How can you just move on like that?" In my mind, I am like, 'Why is this such a big deal?’ You are the problem. Why do you have to fight with everyone? Sometimes it's better to let things go.

Here’s the thing: I’ve been through a lot in my life, from the cruelty of others to situations that have tested me, and I used to get really angry about it all. I thought I had to be this person who fought back, who showed people that they couldn’t just walk all over me. But over time, I started realising that holding onto that anger wasn’t doing me any good; it was just making me a bitter and upset person. And the truth is, you can’t move forward when you’re stuck in anger.

In high school, I experienced the same thing. I felt like people were constantly trying to hurt me, take advantage of me, or show no respect. I thought that reacting with anger would solve everything, but it only drained me. Every day, I would wake up, and try to fight with some random individuals who didn't think I belonged at a school they didn't own. I held onto that bitterness, and it affected my relationships with others. It made me feel isolated and even more frustrated. But at some point, I realised that things happen in life. People are going to disappoint you, and that’s okay. You can’t control how others behave, but you can control how you react.

So, I decided to let go. Instead of focusing on what others did wrong, I focused on how I could grow, how I could keep moving forward. Life’s too short to keep holding onto grudges. When you carry anger, you don’t just hurt others; you hurt yourself as well. You become a person no one wants to be around because you’re constantly complaining or bringing negativity into every situation.

Stoicism teaches us to embrace what we can’t change and let go of the rest. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. You learn to accept that some things are beyond your control, and that’s when you truly find peace. Instead of holding onto resentment, choose to be at peace with what’s happened. Let go of the things that weigh you down. It's like holding onto a grudge is holding onto a burning coal; you think you're hurting the other person, but you’re only hurting yourself.

It takes energy to exert any emotions; the amount of energy it takes to be angry all the time is totally not worth it. Day by day, you become a psychopath because your anger deludes you into believing that the world is against you and no one is in your corner. So you start viewing every scenario as an us vs them. Everything keeps happening to you ,and you have no control over your life anymore. People might let you down, but don’t let their actions dictate your mood. There’s a saying: "Don’t let someone’s behaviour ruin your peace." When you stop reacting to every slight injustice, you begin to regain control of your happiness. It's about finding balance, not just for yourself but for your relationships, too.

So, my message today is simple: let things go. Whether it's something minor or a significant betrayal, holding onto anger only hurts you in the long run. Embrace the teachings of Stoicism. Focus on what you can control and leave the rest behind. Let go of bitterness and make room for peace and growth in your life.

Until next time,
Sayonara,
Takura✨

💜 Highlights of the week

1. Lovable is free this weekend; build something - https://lovable.dev/

2. Ali Abdaal's blueprint on launching a startup, must watch

3. My podcast episode on the Motus